The Tenth Circle of Hell
by Fall Risk the Trash Panda
Summary: "The real torture wasn't what was being physically done to him...it was the feeling of betrayal and grief. The humiliation and anger…. It was the fact he had called this man a friend..." Sometimes the monsters are closer to home than you want to believe. J/B pairing, a little E centric, S & A are in there along with an OC.


**The Tenth Circle of Hell**

 **Summary:** The real torture wasn't what was being physically done to him...it was the feeling of betrayal and grief. The humiliation and anger…. It was the fact he had called this man a friend.

 **Warnings: ...** *evil* character alert... Mild torture, I tried not to be graphic. There are some n/c overtones, but no actual sexual acts. Little on the A/U side. J/B pairing (cause, be real, it's me)… that should be it… maybe a few bad words too?

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Mutant X, this is just a friendly little story to help me pass my time at work.

-line-

"Please….don't…" Brennan gasped out as the knife scraped along his abdomen, stripping away the skin.

"Shhhh...don't whine. Do you think I begged when I got my scars?" His tormentor taunted, all but laughing at him.

Brennan groaned as the knife finished its path and pulled on his restraints. He had been stripped to his boxers and tied to the desk; tied because his powers didn't work on ropes. He was almost spread eagle, except that he was too tall for the length of the metal surface. His legs were bent at the knees and tied to the desk legs. His arms were pulled above his head and also tied to the legs. They dug into his skin, causing burns and cutting his flesh. It added further discomfort to what he was already suffering.

For God only knew how long, his assailant had been alternating between cutting him or skinning him. This was after he had been beaten into near unconsciousness. He was sure that he had a concussion and at least one broken rib, maybe more. Every breath in made his chest feel like it was being touched by fire. There was also the burning pain radiating from the knife wounds that were equivalent to liquid lava. His vision, already blurry from the head injury, was now starting to darken and tunnel. He had never felt so helpless in his life but the physical pain wasn't even close to what he was suffering mentally.

The real torture wasn't what was being physically done to him, it wasn't the knife gouging his skin. It wasn't even the physical blows or the icy water that was dumped on him. It was who was responsible...it was the feeling of betrayal and grief. The humiliation and anger…. It was the fact he had called this man a friend.

"...why…?" He coughed out, shutting his eyes against the pain that rocked his body.

"Why?" The other man laughed, "Haven't I already told you _why_?" He backhanded Brennan, hitting him hard enough to rattle his teeth. "Weren't you listening?" He spat at him, "don't you ever listen to me?"

"Don't...please…" Brennan begged as he tried to turn away, he tried to hide from his assailant.

The other wrapped his hand around the elemental's throat, and squeezed. Brennan opened his eyes opened wide and he frantically pulled on the restraints, tearing the skin on his ankles and wrists. His panic increase in kind with the pressure on his neck. The blond loomed over him, gloating, as he watched the other start to change colors.

"Are you listening now?" He asked, his voice was a taunt...he was mocking him.

Brennan tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but he couldn't get anything past the death grip. He couldn't even nod his head because his neck was hyperextended. All he could do was stare up into cold and emotionless blue eyes. He could feel his mind clouding, he could feel the asphyxia as it took over his body… He had the strange idea that this was what death felt like and his inner mind laughed because wasn't he dying?

His vision was darkening. His head was pounding. His heart was slowing. He had lost all will to fight… Death was crawling over him, he could feel its coldness spreading like a fire… His eyes drifted closed and he was surrendering to the inevitable… But then he was released. The hand was removed and he was yanked back from the edge, coughing and sputtering violently.

The other snorted with obvious disgust, "he lasted longer…" He murmured more to himself. Brennan barely heard the comment, and he really didn't register it. He was too busy trying to suck in gulps of air. His head was spinning and fresh tears fell from his eyes as his body reawoken every pain. He shut his eyes tightly in an attempt to keep from vomiting.

"Why am I doing this….why am I doing this. Let's think about it, shall we?" The blond taunted. Brennan could hear him circulating. "It couldn't be because of all the times you taunted me, all the times you've harassed me or put me down… It has nothing to do with you bullying and berating me…. All those little insults… Also times you took advantage of me, used me like a slave…. Nah. Can't be any of that…" He paused, running his hand through Brennan's hair and smoothing the tangled mess back.

Brennan stiffened, expecting another blow, but it didn't come. He just continued with his monologue, "Maybe it was all the times your actions almost got me killed? Or when you even tried to beat me to death? You do remember that, don't you? That little time where you tried to kill me?"

His voice had turned into a hiss. His words felt like blows and cut deeper into Brennan than any knife could. He whimpered, the sound escaping from his throat against his will, as his hair was yanked, forcing his head back. "Or maybe I just want you to feel just an ounce of the pain I live with every day. Just a little bit of the humiliation you make me feel."

He released Brennan and moved so that he was standing at his side. The knife was back in his hand and his eyes were roaming his victim's body. "I see why he wants you…" He said, another odd comment that Brennan just barely registered. He traced the tip of the knife along Brennan's waistline.

"Please… No more… I can't…." Brennan choked out, pleading.

"Open your eyes Brennan. Look at me," he ordered, now pressing the knife to his throat. Brennan, feeling the edge of the blade against his jugular had not choice but to obey. "I'm not cruel. You just needed to be punished. It's over now… I'm going to kill you quickly."

Brennan whimpered again, afraid, but he didn't beg. He didn't look away from the other, even as the knife began to dig into his flesh…

There was a growl, and then a flash of movement and suddenly the knife was clattering on the floor. There was fighting and the sound of an angry lion. Brennan lay still, too stunned and relieved to move. The man was away from him. That was all that mattered at the moment.

A hand, small and gentle, touched his face. He panicked and cried out. "Bren, it's alright," a voice said, soft and reassuring and in his mind he felt a cool breeze and the scent of lavender filled his senses."

"Emma?" He asked, his voice strained and cracked.

"I'm here Brennan. I'm right here, you're safe now," she promised and he could feel her working on the ropes..

"Jesse…" Brennan whimpered, trying to look around for the younger man.

"Shalimar has him," she answered, her voice growing cold, "he can't hurt you anymore."

-line-

For the past three months, maybe a little longer, Jesse had been _off._ He had lost the normal mischievous glint in his eyes and they had grown hard. His face, which normally was kind or thoughtful in its expression, had become blank...even cold. at times. He seemed to have become almost emotionless and robotic except for when he was angry. When he was angry everyone knew. He would often lash out at whoever was near by, either snapping at or arguing with them.

It had gotten so bad that Adam had decided to pull him from the field until he could figure out what was bothering the young man. He had planned to talk to him early in the morning, since Jesse had been spending his nights either in the dojo or in the hanger. Except that Jesse had gone out that night and he never came home.

His last known location had been safehouse thirty, but the house had been taken off line. The cameras were down and Jesse wasn't answering his comm. Brennan had offered to go, undaunted by the other's recent behavior. That was fine with Shalimar, who was still mad after her last encounter with Jesse, and Emma who had been avoiding him for days now.

That was the start of this nightmare.

Three hours… Brennan had been held by Jesse for three hours. He had been beaten…a mild concussion and two broken ribs. He had been tortured… Over 100 stitches to close all the wounds and he may still need skin grafts on some of them. There was water in his lungs, just enough that it could be dangerous, and so Adam was watching him for signs of pneumonia. And he had been broken…

They all had been broken today.

Adam sighed sadly as he watched Shalimar speaking to Brennan. She was trying to be brave, trying to be strong. She wasn't fooling anyone.

"How did this happen? How could this happen?" Emma had asked. She was overwhelmed, and almost in hysterics. Adam had considered for a moment giving her a sedative but the empath wouldn't want it. He wished he could give her an answer though, he wished he could give them all an answer. He just couldn't…

He had known that this was possible. Moleculars had a predisposition to be manic or emotionally unstable. Jesse was most definitely manic at times but he was normally well controlled. His mood swings were always contained and associated to his powers fluctuating. Adam had always considered him safe, but in the back of his mind he knew there was a possibility for a psychotic break. That meant he should have been prepared for this, but he wasn't.

He had considered Jesse a son. He had never thought the young man now locked in one of the holding cells could change so drastically… become so unrecognizable. Never had he imagined that the young man would be capable of hurting his family, or anyone, in such a way...in anyway. He couldn't fathom how this happened...why this would happen. Nothing in the past months had indicated this level of instability.

Adam sighed and turned away from the med lab. He could no longer watch as Shalimar attempted to comfort Brennan. He could no longer witness the pain and grief in that room. Never in his life had he ever felt so old and tired...this was yet another dark spot on his soul.

-line-

The world was a dream; a strange and horrible dream. All she had to do was wake up and it would be okay. Brennan wouldn't be lying in a drugged daze, too numb to feel the pain...yet. Emma wouldn't be locked in her room, alternating between screaming into her pillows and crying hysterically while she tried to ride out everything. Adam wouldn't look like he's aged 200 years and he wouldn't be walking around like a ghost. She wouldn't feel like she had been shredded by barbed wire. And Jesse… Jesse wouldn't be a monster.

If she could just wake up, then everything would be fine all would be as it should be. She would try harder to find out what had been going on in Jesse's mind, why he was so angry. She would try harder to help him and to prevent this… to stop this from ever happening. All she had to do was wake up…

But Shalimar was awake. And that was the cause of the devastation she was feeling.

"Is this what it felt like for him?" Brennan asked, his voice a hoarse whisper. The painkillers Adam had given him had made it hard for him to hide his emotions. It added to the strange, twilight zone feel to the entire ordeal. He was looking up at her, eyes half mast and so full of pain and grief… so lost… He was in the midsts of emotions that no one should have to feel.

"What do you mean, Bren?" she asked softly, soothing back some of his hair.

"Hillview… was this what it was like for him after Hillview?" he asked, his voice shaking ever so slightly. "I mean… I understand… I know why… I tried to kill him too… it's only fair…."

Shalimar felt anger burning her blood. She wanted so badly to go and beat the answers out of that monster in the holding cells. She wanted to demand a reason why, to demand that he explain himself. Hadn't they been family? Hadn't they been his home and his pack? Why had he betrayed them so violently? Why had he destroyed them? Why did he make Brennan suffer? But then the grief hit her, the pain and the loss… Her brother, her best friend, he was gone. He was as good as dead and the thing in the holding cells was just his ghost.

"This isn't your fault Brennan. This isn't fair. I don't know the answers yet, but I swear, I'll find them. We'll figure out why. I swear," she said, and there were tears falling from her eyes. Brennan sighed, sounding so defeated, and he began to drift off back to sleep as the feral cried.

-line-

Emma was tired of hiding in her room.

Her mind was buzzing and her head was spinning. She didn't need to look in the mirror to know that her eyes were glowing with her powers. She could sense everyone, could pinpoint their locations… Adam was in his study, he was grieving the loss of a son. Shalimar was standing watch over Brennan, guarding her brother, she was disconnected from the world… Brennan was sleeping and he was numb… shocked….

Jesse was alone.

Jesse was laughing.

She moved through the halls like a specter. Alone, cold, and silently; she would not let her presence be known until she had found her target. It wasn't hard to do… she had known where he was all along really. They had thrown him in the holding cells and left him there, almost forgotten. They had ignored him, not even doing the normal routine medical checks they do for any other detainees while they try to figure out where to place them… what to do with the dangerous ones.

They had all wanted to forget he existed.

But she couldn't.

Not when she could hear his laughter.

She stood there, in front of the glass, looking in at him. He was crouched on the floor, pressed into a corner, almost hiding. He looked sick… his eyes were sunken, his skin pale, his hair was dirty… His nose was bleeding.

She could feel his pain, physical pain that made her insides twist and contort in unnatural ways. He had had that pain before, when his powers were weird. But this time… this feeling… it was strange. It was his bones and muscles that were misshapen and screaming for release, not his molecules. He was laughing… he stared up at her, a smile on his face and eyes cold in their insanity and his mind laughed.

"How is good old Brennan doing?" He asked, or rather taunted. His voice was strange, it didn't sound like Jesse. It didn't match the man who spoke with it.

Emma didn't answer him. She pushed out with her mind, wrapping her senses around him, looking for a way in. She wanted inside his head, wanted to hear his thoughts and ignore his words. But he pushed back…

Jesse never pushed back.

Even when he was angry, he never pushed back. He just asked her to leave.

Jesse trusted her.

"100 stitches… is that only what it took?" he laughed and Emma wondered how he knew. She hadn't told him that information and she knew she was the first one to come see him… how did he know? "I bet he's wishing he was dead right about now… give me five minutes alone with him and I can make his wishes come true."

"You will never touch him again, Jesse," She said… she threatened. But it felt weird to say Jesse's name… that name, it didn't belong here. It didn't fit.

She pushed harder into his head.

She saw him flinch.

"I don't need to touch him… I don't need to do anything else. I've already won." He laughed, spitting his anger in her face.

But Emma could sense something, feel something, else. She could see the cracks in his mind, see the holes forming in his defenses. He was taking a lot of energy maintaining his lies. "You have won nothing. We are all here, safe in Sanctuary, and you are never going to hurt anyone again. We will find a hole and lock you away so that not even the sun can find you." She had said part of that up loud, and part of that inside his head.

She smiled when she sensed his fear.

"If I can't have him, no one can…" and the words weren't said aloud, they were whispered by his mind.

They were a harsh, angry, threat that spoke of denial and disappointment… violent frustration. That feeling when you are denied something you were so close to achieving, even though you've worked so hard to get it.

And with those words came the flashes… an all encompassing darkness, so complete she no longer knew if light was real. A heat so heavy it made the air feel like bricks that were pressing down and crushing her. The inability to move, stretch, to do anything but be still… the frustration at being stuck… the panic…. The unimaginable panic. She understood now that claustrophobia was a living entity and not just a fear. And oh god… the terror….

She was snapped back to herself hard. She had been torn from the connection and violently shoved back into her mind. The other, the stranger, growled at her, pain radiating from him. She stared at him for a long moment finally seeing him for what he was.

And now she was _angry._

"What have you done," she hissed, her eyes pulsing with an unfamiliar red as she no longer cared about hurting this monster. "Show me what you have done."

Looking at her, seeing the red glow to her eyes… knowing she no longer cared about her self imposed rules… the monster wasn't laughing now.

The monster knew fear.

-line-

"Adam…" Emma called softly from the door to his study.

He had retreated there, to hide from the world. Emma had entered his sanctum without permission, without warning. It had startled him, the intrusion, but that had quickly turned into anger. He did not want to be disturbed. Had he just not endured the loss of a son? The betrayal of someone close to to him? Could they not give him even a moment to grieve?

He stood at his desk and turned to face her, the anger ready to spill out. It died in his throat, however. The moment he saw her, her face flushed, her eyes wide...wild. She was shaking, visibly, and she was scared. So very scared. He couldn't be angry with her, not when it looked like her powers were taking control of her. Not when it looked like she was out of her mind.

"Adam," she called again, her voice a mix between a sob and a laugh, "it's not him! Adam! It's not him!"

Adam frowned, already moving towards her. He was worried now. Empaths, when under a lot of stress, had been known to reshape their realities. There had been cases where an empath had constructed their own worlds in their minds, living in a dream state. Emma was strong, but the events that had played out this day were overwhelming for even the most stable of people and she was being assaulted by everyone's emotions, not just her own.

"Emma, come sit down. Talk to me," he said, trying to pacify her. Trying to reassure her. He felt like he was treading on eggshells, like if he startled her she would snap. He couldn't lose her too.

"No! Adam! Listen! I'm not crazy!" she cried, desperate to speak. Desperate to be heard… to be believed. And she told him of her discovery, of her conversation with Jesse, of the hits she was receiving, and how they were not from _him._ She told him of the glimpses she had seen, the sight of Jesse, scared and in pain, underneath a man choking him. The sight of the molecular fighting, struggling… trying to escape and resist. The flashes of him now, panicked and trapped. She told him all she had learned.

"It's not him… that's not Jesse in the cell. But Jesse's scared, Adam," she cried, "he's so scared…. I can feel him…."

Adam didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to think. He wanted to believe Emma, to believe the reality she was creating. It made sense of the current state of things… he just couldn't. It was too unreal, too much to fathom. It too perfectly resolved everything, and nothing was so neat in his world.

"You haven't tested his blood," Emma hissed. She could sense his doubt. It made her angry. "Check his blood. DNA doesn't lie."

This was a truth that the scientist knew. This was a truth he could accept. This was also a truth that Emma knew and would accept. He did need to do the normal medical checks on Jesse. He did need to see if science could explain what had happened today. He had been putting it off, unable to face the young man. But now, he had no choice. He could not lose Emma to a delusion, not to a dream world.

So he set about the task, drawing the blood though it made his heart ache to see the molecular in a disheveled state. His skin had crawled when he had touched him. He had all but flinched when he looked into cold, emotionless eyes and heard his mocking voice. But he had done all his medical checks and now he was running the blood test… for the second time. He had to make sure he was right.

Emma was watching him, sitting there in the lab silently, her eyes glowing an unfamiliar red. "What does it say?" she asked when Adam looked up at her, his face pale and eyes wide.

"It's not a match," Adam whispered.

-line-

"So… it's not Jesse? It wasn't Jesse at all?" Brennan asked, his voice shaky.

Adam had wanted the young man to continue resting in med bay. He didn't like how pale his color was or how dark the circles were under his eyes. He wanted to give him another dose of painkillers and send him back to bed. Brennan was being stubborn. He sat, with Shalimar still guarding him, with the others in the control room. He shouldn't have been up, but there he was. Adam and Emma had just told the other two about their discovery, and the relief and shock was settling in.

"No Brennan, the DNA proves it. The man in the cell is not Jess. He's a molecular, one that I have never seen as an adult before," Adam answered, his voice steady. "He's a shapeshifter. I have never heard of his classification living past their teens. Their mutation is normally too unstable."

"A shapeshifter…" Shalimar repeated, her voice choked. "But he smells like Jesse… he looks like Jesse…" She was doubtful, she wanted this to be true. She wanted this to be reality, but it was so hard to believe.

"He's wearing Jesse's clothing. I… I saw a flash of him taking them off him," Emma said her voice communicating her disgust and anger.

There was a low growl from Shalimar and her eyes flashed gold as she struggled to control the anger bubbling inside.

Emma continued quickly, drawing her friend back to the present, "As for still looking like Jesse… The theory Adam and I came up with is that the governor in his neck is preventing him from changing back to his normal form. We're going to deactivate it shortly because his cells are showing signs of stress and we need him to tell us where Jesse is."

"Is Jesse alright?" Brennan asked, he wasn't able to hide the fear from his voice or his eyes. "What did he do to him?"

"We don't know, yet," Adam said, "Emma is working on finding out. Shalimar, I need your help to repair the safehouse footage. I pulled it off the servers but it appears that he tried to destroy it. You know Jesse's software better than I do."

"I can do it," Shalimar said, her voice a growl, "But I'm going to be there to bring Jesse home."

"Of course," Adam promised, then looked over to Brennan, "Brennan, I need you to rest-"

"Forget it Adam. That fucking bastard tortured me for three hours, god knows how long he had Jesse. What can I do to help?" he responded. It was still hard to tell if he fully believed that the man who had attacked him was a shapeshifter and not Jesse, but one could tell he wanted to believe it. At least it was something to start from.

Adam sighed wishing that his protege weren't so stubborn, "For now, there isn't really anything you can do. I need you to rest, not to push yourself. You're body is hurting, and while I appreciate you wanting to help, I need you to take care of yourself. This is the best way you can help."

Brennan sighed, frustrated. He knew Adam was right, already he could feel the pain from his injuries threatening to overtake him. He just hated being useless. _You're not useless,_ he heard Emma say, or more project to him… the empath was reading him and trying to sooth his mind. But how could she when his mind was racing? He wasn't useless? Sitting here on his ass, just waiting for the others to do all the work… how was that not useless?

"Let's get started, we may not have a lot of time left," Adam said, bringing Brennan's attention back to the present.

He blinked, slightly dazed as he watched Shalimar and Adam leave. He wanted to go with them, he wanted to help, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. "You're not useless," Emma said, her voice soft, "and this isn't your fault. We're going to get Jesse back, all of us. And when we do, he's going to need all of us."

"Emma, how bad? How hurt is he?" Brennan asked, his eyes pleading for an honest answer.

"He's panicked. His mind… now that I can sense it again… it doesn't make much sense. I can't tell what's wrong and he's too frantic to let me in…" She answered as kindly as she could. Her friend was hurting, and she wanted to ease that pain. Unfortunately, she didn't know how.

"I thought he was finally… After Hillview, all I can think about when I look at him is what I did and how I always treated him. Always thought he was weaker… I mean, not weaker like pathetic, but not as tough. Not as -"

"Jaded?" Emma provided.

Brennan nodded, "Yeah. Not like us. The rich boy. I uh… I thought I knew him and then when we were in Hillview… He didn't even blink inside. He wasn't scared and he didn't need protecting. Not really. I didn't know him at all… and for the last three months I've just been thinking about how badly I fucked it up."

"Jesse does a very good job hiding everything. He has learned to wear a mask to prevent others from seeing him what he was taught were flaws. I think we all forget how much he's actually been through, and he works very hard to keep it that way," Emma provided, her voice soft and reflective.

"Do you think that's why he's been so angry? Is he starting to drop the mask? I mean… that shit has to get heavy, doesn't it?" Brennan asked. His eyes were wide and his voice, though steady, was fearful. The painkillers really were taking away his composure.

"No. Jesse doesn't like to worry us, that's why he has the mask to begin with. He doesn't wear it for himself… No, I think something else was going on," Emma answered, her voice faraway. There was a flash in her mind, a hint of something foreign invading… It was hard to understand and impossible to explain.

"He's been going to the same bar, every time he's gone out. I was worried about that and I'd follow him. He didn't say anything about it " Brennan said, his voice reflective, "we actually would talk...not really about anything but talk. He didn't seem angry then, just tired."

Emma got the sense that Brennan wanted to admit to something, something he felt overwhelmed by. Something that would make him blush so to speak. "Brennan," and she was sweetly teasing him, almost like a giddy school girl, "were you two having dates?"

Brennan did blush, sort of. It was really an exaggerated gulp, that was often a tell for him. "We...we were getting to know each other better. I mean...I saw him differently. He was real…"

Emma smile, a warm and soft one. The two boys had always been tense around each other, always on edge. She and Shalimar had a bet going for when they'd finally figure out the reason why. Looks like Shal had won…. "Brennan, have you told him? Does he know that you're interested?"

"What?!" Brennan almost snapped, startled, "No! That is not at all what-" but the words died in his mouth when he looked her in the eyes. "He hates me...he has to… Hillview, and this…"

"This was a man Brennan, who tried to trick us. He tried to break us. But he is not going to win and he is not going to hurt you or Jess anymore."

"He's been so angry Emma, but when I go out to get him, he just seems tired...like he doesn't know what's happened or how he was acting...I can't get a sense of what's going on. So no, I haven't said anything. I mean, would he even want me to?"

"I don't know. But when we bring him home, that's what you can do. You can ask him, and you can help him," Emma answered.

Brennan was quiet for a long moment before he nodded his head and sighed, "Yeah…bring him home."

Emma nodded, a silent promise. She kissed the top of his head and then disappeared, on her way to do just that.

-line-

The footage was badly damaged. He had tried to erase it and so parts of it were missing, but not gone. When it came to the safe house security, Jesse was always a little paranoid. Shalimar had teased him about all of the back-up systems he had in place for each house, but today she was grateful. The bastard had damaged the main footage. He had taken the main system off line. He had not touched the back-up. She could repair the footage easily enough using the back-up files to fill in the missing pieces. It wouldn't be the greatest quality images, but they didn't need great. They needed visible, and that she would get. It was just going to take a frustratingly long time.

She growled at the computer wondering how Jesse could stare at this machine so patiently for hours. Didn't it know that she didn't have time to wait? That this was possibly preventing her from finding her brother? She wanted to scream. But she didn't. She held it together and kept her feral in check. Screaming wasn't going to help. Impatience was her enemy. Jesse needed her calm and collected. He needed her together and whole, not wield and out of control.

Watching the security camera feds from the cell block was providing to be a nice distraction. She had seen the monster change back into what she guessed was his normal shape. It was revolting and made her wonder if Jesse ever experienced anything like that. She hoped not, it looked as painful as it did ugly. But seeing him, knowing his true face, it gave her an idea.

She captured a still of him, making sure to zoom in and get a perfect shot, before loading it into another program that Jesse had created. Facial recognition on steroids was the quickest and easiest way to describe it. It did so much more than just search faces though. It would be a matter of hours, but the program would recreate this bastard's life for her. If she wanted to, she could find out what he had for dinner on his third birthday. She only really cared about the last twenty four to forty eight hours, however. Because it was in those last few days that she would find Jesse, and all of this was about finding her brother.

-line-

Adam had deactivated the governor and watched in equal parts fascination and horror as the shapeshifter changed from Jesse back to, what he assumed, was his actual self. The man had morphed, his body turning and twisting violently as if he were convulsing, into a medium built, shorter man. He was hairless and had blue eyes that were so light they were almost clear. It was eerie looking at him now...he didn't look human.

"Enjoy the show old man?" He hissed at Adam, "did it get your rocks off?"

Adam ignored the taunts and activated the governor again, nulling the mutant's powers. He was more concerned about his missing protege than his pride. "What's your name?" He asked, keeping his tone detached and emotionless.

"Morgan Freeman," he snapped back like a caged animal. His eyes darted between Adam and Emma. It was clear he was nervous and more weary of Emma than Adam. Whatever the redhead had done the first time she had 'spoke' with him had left a lasting impression.

"Things will be easier if you don't fight us," Emma said, her voice soothing in a way that encouraged compliance.

The mystery mutant snorted a laugh and shook his head, "what's going to be easier? You neutering me? Or whatever you do to punish the bad little freak."

"We're not going to hurt you." Adam said, and it was the truth. He may hate this person in front of him, he may want to hurt him, but he wasn't going to and he wouldn't allow the others to either. He, as well as all of them, had made a promised to protect Mutant kind. Sometimes that meant they had to be judge and jury as well as police and guardian. It wasn't easy, especially in situations like this, but they had to be above retribution.

Again, he snorted, "You're holding me in a fucking cell. I'm your goddamn prisoner. And after what I did to your boys…. How is dear old Brennan doing?"

"Brennan will make a full recovery," Adam replied, his voice stern in the face of the other's mocking tone.

"Good… that's good, at least you managed to save one of 'em, because poor little Jesse's just running out of time… you know what he told me? You know what he said? He said you were going to find him. Guess not, huh?" he hissed with a gloating smile on his face.

Adam, with all the protective urges and righteous anger of a father, had to turn his back on the mutant in the cell to keep from throttling him.

"Oh? What's the matter old man? Did I strike a nerve? Did I make you cry?" He continued to taunt. "How does it feel, knowing he's going to die?"

"You were following him… waiting there for him," Emma said, speaking just as Adam had turned back to address the man. Her voice was eerie, and she seemed detached from the world with her eyes glowing white. She walked towards the shapeshifter, head tilted to the side as if she was listening to something only she could hear.

"You knew he would go there… he'd been there a lot lately. You've been following him since you first saw him at that bar...Raleigh's, that's what it's called, isn't it? But there's more…. you've been in his mind, haven't you?" she asked, her tone accusing. "You're an empath too?"

The shapeshifter was now showing signs of fear. He may not have cared much for any other's life, but he cared greatly for his. That, and it was clear that Emma was by far more powerful than he was. He stepped away from her, backed up into the cell until his back was pressed to the far wall. "Get away from me," he hissed, "get out of my head!"

Adam watched the exchange in silent fascination. This was something he'd never seen Emma do before. He had never witnessed her drawing information out of someone without physical touch. If it wasn't for the gravity of the situation, he would want to test this new power boost. But there were more important matters to attend to.

"I'm not in your head," Emma said with a twisted smile that did not belong on her face. "I don't go into people's heads without permission, I'm just stronger than you. I know more than you. You're not an empath, not like me, but you can go inside heads? Tell me the truth."

The last sentence was an order, a direct compulsion to obey that was accompanied by a small orb shooting from Emma to the other mutant. This orb was nothing more than emotional energy… it was a manifestation of what she wanted him to feel. Projecting those emotions and heightening his apparent discomfort of her was how she was going to get him to talk.

"It's part of the whole package… I have to think like them if I'm going to become them. If I touch them, I can read them, get a feel for them… when I change and I'm touching them, it makes it stronger… If I have something of theirs, clothing normally works best, the changes holds out longer," he stammered, now speaking freely under Emma's spell.

"DNA contact, skin cells on the clothing could prolong the stability of the shift," Adam murmured thoughtfully, but he quickly shifted gears. "What's your name?"

"Ronald Myer…." He answered, still clearly frightened of Emma or maybe just still under her compulsion.

"Alright Ronald Myer, where is Jesse?" She asked, her eyes changing from white to a more pinky red. Knowing his name, being able to use it, gave her more empathetic control over him. It allowed her to weaken his walls further.

"You'll never find him…." he hissed in reply.

"Yes we will, because you are going to tell me," Emma said, and another orb formed in front of her, just as her eyes turned to red.

"Fuck you bitch," Ronald snapped, watching the orb, scared.

"Do not try me…" Emma hissed before Adam could intervene. She sent the orb over to her pray, letting it hover in front of him. "I can hear him, now that you're not able to block me. I will find him, on way or another. I promise you though, you want to help me."

"What...What is that thing?" Ronald asked eyes locked on the orb as it began to grow.

"That is every ounce of grief and hurt and distress you have caused everyone here. It is mixed with all of the fear and pain that you are inflicting on Jesse right now. It is the raw emotions of five people and all their turmoil. Do you think your mind can handle that? Do you think you're strong enough to withstand it? Want to find out?"

"He was bad. He fought me, so I punished him…." Ronald said. He was shaking and all but begging now.

"What did you do?" Emma hissed, fists clenching. She felt like she couldn't exhale… It was like suffocating, except it was because she had too much air trapped in her lungs.

Before Ronald could answer her however, the comms activated. "Adam," Shalimar's voice came out as a growl. The feral was watching, she was listening to the whole thing, and she was not happy. "I found his address. 201 River Wood Road," she provided the others.

"He's there," Ronald said, "In the basement. There's a dirt floor…"

"You buried him?" Emma whispered, and there was rage. There was so much horror and rage in her words that it made her cold. It made her vicious. The orb had almost doubled in size.

"Emma, enough," Adam said.

But he was wrong, it wasn't enough. It wasn't going to ever be enough. Because in her mind claustrophobia was a living breathing monster. It was wrapping itself around her, squeezing her body until her bones crushed and grinded on each other. It whispered taunts and lies into her ears as it ran its fingers over her body…. It was never going to be enough….

"Emma, go with Shalimar, now," Adam said, and the fear and urgency in his voice pulled her back from the edge of shredding Ronald apart, brain cell by brain cell. Looking at her mentor's face, Emma realized what she had almost done.

"Yes," She answered and turned for the door, swallowing back her bile.

"Meet you at the Helix," was Shalimar's reply over the comm.

"Make sure you have oxygen," Adam ordered then he turned his attention back to Ronald. "How far down did you bury him?"

"Not that deep… only two or three feet. He had a tank of air set to a timer. It was set to go off every two hours. He's still got air…. Maybe." Ronald stammered, his whole body shaking. He could still feel Emma surrounding him. As she had said, she didn't enter his mind, but that didn't mean she wasn't pressing in on him. It was a testament to the power she had that he still felt her even though she was gone.

"How long has he been buried?" Adam all but growled, very clearly losing his composure.

"I don't know…. Something like ten hours?" Ronald answered. "I was going to let him out when I was done with Brennan. See if he'd be good then…." he added, as if that made it better.

Adam had never felt such fury in his life. He had never sought to be a violent man, it had happened out of necessity, but for the first time he could ever remember he _wanted to kill._ The one thing in the world that Jesse feared most was small spaces and confinement.

The young man had spent months in a pod at Genomex, in a drugged haze; this had left him more traumatized than the hellish medical tests he had been subjected to. The absolute terror that his _son_ must be feeling right now… the abandonment, the nightmare, the claustrophobia…. It was overwhelmingly unimaginable.

"I may have lied to you," Adam said, his voice frigid and calm, "I may very well hurt you when this is all over."

-line-

Once upon a time, Shalimar thought she had known what rage was… those past flirtations with the emotion were laughable compared with what she felt now. Her animal mind had taken over almost completely to keep her human self from ripping the shapeshifter limb from limb.

 _Jesse needs you_ , her mind had whispered, _you can murder the freak later. Jesse needs you._

And so she had stayed calm. She had kept it together. She had let the lioness guide her. She followed Emma to this place, to this house of horror that looked so ordinary. It was on a quiet street, tucked back away from the road. A rancher, with a lovely view of a small stream. Shalimar could care less about how perfect it seemed, it was a doorway to hell and now she had to find a way in. She could not sense anyone, could not smell any threats, but she could smell the faintest hint of sandalwood. It was stale and old, but it lead her to a door.

"There's a basement entrance," she growled and hoped that Emma could translate its meaning.

She didn't wait for the redhead, she moved towards where she knew the scent was drifting out from. She tried once to open it and it wouldn't move, so impatiently she kicked it, busting the lock and breaking it open. Emma inhaled sharply behind her and she glanced back, almost worried.

"He's down there," Emma said, addressing the feral's unvoiced concern.

Shalimar nodded and moved down into the basement. There was no light at all down in that hell. There was no movement, no fresh air, no sound…. Just a void where existence forgot. It was oddly suffocating.

Emma turned on a lantern that she had remember to bring with them along with the shovels. It illuminated the darkness and chased away much of the oppressive stillness, but did nothing to really help the suffocating feeling. It was easy to see, now however, the oxygen tank set to a timer with a pipe leading down into the earth. That earth was just an oddly shaped mound of freshly disturbed dirt.

There was no words spoken or hesitation between the two, they both began to dig. They didn't think about what they were doing, didn't give the surreal horror a moment's light. If they had, they would have broken down. They would have been rendered useless. That couldn't happen now.

Neither one of them could say how long it took...too long in their own minds...but they finally found the crude wooden box that had been used to bury him. There was a hole, small and splintered, about where his head was, as if he tried to punch himself out of the hell. Emma had seen the hole and sobbed softly, unable to choke back the sound. Shalimar ignored her and began to rip away the boards that held her 'cub' imprisoned.

It took her only seconds to break them away, but it felt like days. Her heart was hammering in her chest until the moment she saw him. Jesse lay in the box unmoving except for the shallow gasps for air. He was pale except for the bruising along his chest and mouth, and he had been stripped down to his boxers. His hair was a mess and slicked back with sweat. His lips were ever so slightly blue. Both of his hands were bloody, and it was clear that some of his nails were missing, and his right hand was broken. There were also abrasions on his knees and lower legs. The most heartbreaking thing however was the blank and almost catatonic stare as he looked straight up into nothing.

"Jesse?" Shalimar called softly, her voice soothing. With a shaky hand, she reached down to check his pulse, just to reassure herself that he really was alive. He didn't move, not even a flinch. "Oh Jess…." She said softly and ran a hand through his hair. She felt him begin to tremble and it made her hurt.

'Shal...put this on him," Emma said softly, handing the feral an oxygen mask.

Shal took it and gently set in in place over the young man's nose and mouth. Unexpectedly, the action caused him to panic and he started to thrash inside of the box. "Jesse, no! It's alright! It's alright!" Shalimar cried, pinning him as best she could in an attempt to keep him from hurting himself. Her words had no effect and the blond continued to twist and struggle, in addition to whimpering and sobbing.

In a last ditch effort to calm him, Shalimar reached down and as carefully as she could lifted her brother out of the hole and cradled him to her. She wrapped her arms around him, pinning his arms to his side. Held like that, he became limp, apparently returning to the catatonic state.

"Jesse, it's alright now… You're safe…. It's just an oxygen mask. It's going to help you breathe. You're alright now… You're safe…" She kept repeating the words over and over again while she listened to Emma give Adam a report. The whole time, her 'cub' never stirred. He just remained, still and tense in her arms, eyes still staring at nothing….

-line-

If he had ever experienced a time where he was more exhausted, Adam could not remember. He sat, almost numb, watching the steady rhythm of the heart monitor as it beeped in time with his youngest's pulse. He was mesmerized by the bouncing lights, nearly convinced that if he looked away they would stop moving and the young man would cease to exist. He couldn't bear that thought.

Jesse was sedated, he had to be, Adam had no other choice. He had been catatonic when Emma and Shalimar had brought him home, but the moment he had recognized Brennan that had changed. Brennan had been in the lab, wanting to help and also needing another dose of pain meds. One look at him, however, and Jesse had panicked, thrashing and crying out even as Shalimar and Emma tried to reassure him. The sheer primal fear emanating from the young man was frightening to witness. It had scared Adam, more than he would ever be willing to admit, and he had been less than kind when ordering Brennan out of the lab.

Adam had been forced to drug Jesse after Emma had failed to make a psychic connection with him. At the time, it hadn't been his desired course of action, but in the long run it had been the best. He had wanted to evaluate Jesse's mental state when he first arrived, but he was sure now it was better that he waited. Jesse clearly was in no condition to talk to anyone. Maybe the chance to sleep would help to calm his mind and help start the healing process.

Other than his obvious emotional and psychological distress, he had clearly suffered a great deal of abuse. There were bruises forming all along his body, most notably around his nose, mouth, and throat. Both hands had fractures from blunt force trauma and some of his fingernails were missing. Adam cringed when Shalimar had told him about the damage done to the box in the basement. The thought of Jesse attempting to punch and claw his way free would be in his nightmares for the rest of his life.

Jesse's body also showed signs of struggle as he had bruised ribs, a split lip, and bruising around his eye. The most worrying thing, however, was the low oxygen levels in his blood and the potential co2 poisoning. He didn't show any indications, but Adam was watching him closely. Nothing was going to hurt Jesse again, not like this. Not if he could help it.

The door to the lab opened and Adam turned to see Shalimar walking in. "He's still out. Vitals are holding steady, oxygen levels are starting to stabilize finally. The sedative should be wearing off in the next hour, so he should start waking up soon," he updated the feral before she even had a chance to ask.

She nodded and Adam saw the tears in her eyes. She didn't speak as she moved to Jesse's side and gently ran her hand through his tangled mess of hair. She stood there for a long minute, looking down into Jesse's face, her eyes glowing. She was clearly tense and her emotions were running high. _The video footage must be repaired,_ Adam thought and he swallowed a sigh at the thought of having to watch it.

"Emma's asleep. She had to take a sedative… She's at the end of her control. I made Brennan go to bed too, he's not doing well…we uh… We should have thought about that, huh? I mean, if he was disguised as Jesse, why wouldn't he disguise himself as Brennan?"

Adam sighed, "Is that what happened? Is that what the video showed?"

"It didn't show anything," Shalimar said, "Just Brennan's torture. But I can't imagine why he would act that way if it wasn't what happened," she said.

Adam swallowed hard and hung his head. He should have thought of that, he should have been prepared. He could have avoided the whole mess with Jesse's panic attack and Brennan's guilt. "Did Brennan take the pain medication? Has he eaten?" Adam asked, equally concerned for his eldest as he was his youngest. This whole thing was a mess of emotional and physical torment that currently seemed impossible to overcome.

"He ate, don't know about the meds," Shalimar took a shaky breath and shut her eyes tight, clearly fighting the urge to cry. Shalimar took a sharp breath in and held it. There was a mixture of sadness and anger radiating from her. "If it is what I think… I don't know if that's possible or not, but if that is what happened… It's going to be hard to convince Jesse that what happened wasn't because of Brennan."

"I know, but he will get through this Shal. He's always stronger than what's done to him. He's overcome similar things," Adam said, hoping to reassure himself as well as his 'daughter'.

She nodded, eyes glued to Jesse

-line-

It wasn't dark. That was the first thing he noticed. Then he felt the air, like a cool breeze, on his face. It brought him around, at least somewhat. Just enough to feel the fog in his brain and be aware of the dull ache in his body. He shifted, trying to settle into a more comfortable position and was surprised to find he could move… He raised his hand up, though he wondered why it was so heavy, but he managed to reach above his face and when he didn't feel anything there but air he started to cry from the relief.

Then he became aware of something horrible, a pinching sensation around his nose and mouth. His heart began to race as his body remembered a trauma his mind couldn't quite bring to the surface. Still, he acted on that memory and tried to claw at the object pressing on his face, desperately attempting to remove it from his face, but he couldn't. Both hands were heavy and clumsy and his fingers wouldn't move right… he started to panic and flail, his tears turning to sobs.

Suddenly there were hands on his wrists, gently pushing them back down. When they were lying flat again, one hand stayed on a wrist and another one moved to smooth back his hair. "I'm here Jesse, you're safe. You're home now," came a soft and a familiar voice.

He reached out with his free hand and tried to touch the other person, one part attempting to free himself and one part trying to confirm they were real. The hand at his head took hold of his reaching hand, also gently pushing it down. "It's alright now. I promise you're okay… Open your eyes honey…."

His response was a whimper, he was so scared of what he'd find. He turned his head away from the voice, closing his eyes tight. "It's alright Jesse. You don't have to, take your time. I'm here with you…" _she_ said again and this time a name registered with it.

"Shal?" He whispered and he flinched at the sound of it. It was hollow and scared, almost like a small child except too scratchy and scared. It didn't even sound human…

"It's me Jess, that's right… You're home," she said and there was a catch in her voice.

He turned his head towards her, managing to open his eyes. His normally clear blue eyes were cloudy and distorted by the red 'demon' eyes that were a trademark of strangulation and suffocation. It was an unpleasant and upsetting sight but is was also a relief. His eyes were open, they were focusing (at least attempting), it was a far cry better than before.

"Am I dead?" He asked, his voice shaking.

Shalimar shook her head, tears falling, and reassured him; "no. You're home. You're safe."

"And you're real?" He asked, still sounding very much like a scared child.

Shalimar swallowed back the lump in her throat and said in a choked voice, "Yes. I'm real, you're safe."

Jesse sobbed softly, shutting his eyes tightly for a moment as his body trembled with relief. A moment passed and then he looked up at the feral, fear and pain in his eyes. In a very timid and scared. "Was I bad? Are you going to hurt me too?" He asked, and he looked so small, with his eyes wide and glossy.

Shalimar felt her heart shatter and she had to swallow back her own tears. She pressed her forehead against Jesse's and did her best to hold him. "You're not bad," she managed to say, though she was crying, "you're not, and no one is going to hurt you here. No one, I promise."

She felt a shudder run through him and heard the muffled sobs. She could feel his body start to relax as he finally allowed himself to believe her.

-line-

"Jesse, how are you feeling?" Adam asked softly as he sat in front of the molecular. It had been five days since they had all lived through the nightmare that was Ronald.

Five days since Brennan had been tortured and Jesse had survived being buried alive. During that time, Ronald had been handed over to a group home Adam had set up; a pseudo prison designed for situations like this. Jesse had been in and out of consciousness through most of the time. Adam expected that, just as he expected the PTSD flashbacks and episodes. Today was the second full day Jesse had been only on 'over the counter' pain meds, and the first day his youngest seemed to be completely with it.

He looked so small sitting there on the bio bed, knees brought up to his chest, arms wrapped around them, and head resting on top. The bandages on his fractured and cut hands made the position look awkward and uncomfortable, and Adam had to wonder how he was tolerating the discomfort his ribs must have been feeling… but then again, it was a common 'healing' position for moleculars.

For whatever reason, they always curled in on themselves when they were injured, as if being compact made their bodies heal faster. The way Jesse was sitting didn't bother Adam, it was what he was doing that was worrisome. He had been staring out the medbay window but now that Adam was talking to him he turned to look at his mentor. It was still disturbing to see the red eyes and almost vacant stare, but he was more responsive than previously.

"Hey Adam," he said softly. His voice was still rough and scratchy, and Adam had the sickening impression it was from screaming. "Tired...just tired."

Adam nodded, a small smile on his face. "I know," he said, "any more pain?"

Jesse shrugged and shook his head, "chest still hurts. Throat too. Nothing new."

Adam nodded, not terribly concerned, "I'm sorry, you're going to be sore for a while." Jesse's reply was to shrug as he waited for Adam to continue. "Jess, I know that you're still trying to sort through what happened, and Shalimar explained some of it. Right?"

"Yeah… She did…." He answered and he shifted uncomfortably.

"But you're still scared of Brennan?" Adam asked, watching his 'son' closely. Jesse shrugged, before sighing and covering his face with his hands. "Did Shalimar tell you what happened to Brennan?"

Jesse nodded, "she showed me some of the security footage… I just can't remember much about anything. I'm not scared of Brennan… I just can't remember everything that happened…"

Adam didn't believe him, not exactly. He was sure that Jesse couldn't recall some details and he may have some gaps, but he was certain Jesse did remember. The younger man was always resistant to talking about trauma. The problem was, he needed to. The longer Jesse kept things locked away in his head, the more walls he built around himself and the more he would withdrawal.

"Take me through what you do remember. Start from the beginning, and I mean the very beginning. What is the last thing you remember clearly," Adam prompted.

"Adam...I'm tired…" Jesse said, and where most would see an attempt to avoid the conversation, Adam understood. Jesse distorted things when he was tired, he could confuse his own memories and not make sense even to himself making him frustrated. Sometimes that frustration was unwillingly taken out on others.

"I know, but try for me. If it gets too much, we'll stop," came the steady reply. Never in his life had Adam imagined he would have to practice psychology, but he was very glad he studies it as a 'hobby' when dealing with times like these.

Jesse's expression took on a far away look, and he was still for a long while. Adam gave him time, not rushing, he could tell the other was thinking. Eventually he exhaled and said, "the last thing I remember is Brennan apologizing after…" He trailed off, but Adam understood.

"Jesse, Hillview was three months ago," Adam said, and he couldn't hide his surprise.

The young man shrugged, "I honestly can't remember anything clearly after that night. Everything else is like a haze or foggy."

Adam frowned, "what happened that night?"

"I went to Raleigh's. I needed to get away for a little bit. There was a new bartender…" Jesse looked away and swallowed. He had never been comfortable discussing his sexuality. It wasn't that he couldn't admit it, he just very much preferred not to talk about it. If Adam had to guess, it was because of his father.

"Jesse, it's okay to find someone attractive," Adam said.

"It was him," Jesse came back, swallowing hard. "Shal showed me a picture of him and it was the bartender… I…."

"Did nothing wrong," came the firm and aliment statement. "You had no possible way to know who he was or what he would and had done."

"It feels like I should have…"

"Yes, I understand. It is still not logical that you would or could have known," Adam assured him.

Jesse nodded, the words helped, but he was still a ways away from accepting their truth. No one could guilt him quite like himself. "Anyways," he continued, "meeting him...talking with him...it's the last clear memory. After that, it was like sleep walking. I would be in a fog and thinking not only was hard, it hurt. Things just kept getting worse and I kept feeling worse but when I tried to figure out what was wrong I couldn't. The only time I felt any better was when I was at Raleigh's...where he was…"

Adam saw it, the moment it clicked in Jesse's head. The realization that Adam and Emma had made when interrogating Ronald. "He did something, didn't he? He did something to my head?" And there was a shudder to his voice that spoke of the sense of violation he felt.

"Apparently, as a by-product of a shapeshifter's abilities, they have a psyonic presence. It is not exactly psychic or empathic like Emma, but through prolonged exposure, they can have a similar effect. He was manipulating you, yes."

Jesse paled and for a moment, Adam thought he would vomit. The father in him had no doubt that his youngest was feeling very similar emotions as a rape victim, but then again, wasn't this just another form of rape? "I...is that why I was always angrier after Brennan would come to get me? When I wouldn't talk to him, and just Brennan… Was he… Was he jealous?"

"It is a possibility, yes," Adam allowed the molecular a long moment to digest the information, knowing this was overwhelming. "Jesse, can you take me back to that night? When he took you?"

There was a nod, then a sigh from the blond, and he shifted, somehow closing in on himself more. "Shal and I got into a fight, didn't we? I remember wanting to hurt her and not knowing why and it scared me so I left. I went to Raleigh's and I was disappointed because he wasn't there…."

"But you stayed anyways?" Adam prompted when Jesse went quiet.

"Yeah...but maybe he was there," Jesse said, a frown on his face. Again, Adam was reminded that he was tired, and knew this to be a symptom of that.

"Okay Jesse. Why do you think he wasn't there?" Adam asked, making the other work through the memory, sort it out so to speak.

"I couldn't see him," he answered.

"Why do you think he was there," came the next prompt.

"I could sense him...he felt close?" And it was question because Jesse wasn't sure if he was using the right words to explain, but Adam seemed to understand anyways.

"When did you sense him?"

"When Brennan walked in… I...I thought he was gonna be mad about what I did… I thought I was going to get a lecture or into another fight but that didn't happen. He just bought me a drink...I was tired. Really tired...so,he said he'd take me home. When we got in the car though it wasn't right. The car wasn't his and we were going the wrong way. I wanted to get out but he told me it was alright and I was so tired I just… I couldn't do anything. He took me to a house and I didn't want to go inside but he didn't give me a choice and…." Jesse was shaking now, and on the verge of hyperventilating but Adam didn't try to stop him. He just let the other speak, holding his own breath so as not to break the spell.

"He...he..we were on the couch… He kissed me and at first it was okay but then he was trying to...I didn't want… I told him to stop, but he said I was lying so I tried to punch him and he got angry and that's when he started hitting me… He said I was bad...he was going to punish me and he was on top of me...he covered my nose and mouth and I couldn't breathe and I begged him to stop but he laughed at me and kept going...he didn't stop and I couldn't breathe and then I couldn't see...I think I blacked out but when I woke up I...I….I…."

It was here Adam stepped in. Jesse was rocking now, and he clearly no longer recognized where he was. He was on the verge of either a panic attack or PTSD flashback and Adam did not want to put him through that. "Jesse," he called, making his voice as authoritative yet kind as he could, like a stern father. There was no response from the young man, so he tried again.

"Jesse. Look at me," and this time scared and wide blue eyes snapped up to meet his gaze. "You are home, you are safe," Adam said, voice again firm but kind.

"I'm home?" He asked his mentor, blinking. He took a moment to look around, "I...I'm home. I'm home," he sighed and his body sagged. "It's all mixed up in my head Adam. One second everything is fine, then I close my eyes and see the dark and I'm sure I'm back in the box and I can't breathe and when the panic comes I'm back in a pod and I can't move because it's all so damn heavy...it's all messed up. And the only thing I can see clearly is Brennan's face on top of me and I couldn't breathe."

Adam nodded, he had expected this. It was a combination of past and present traumas. Jesse brain was trying to fill in the gaps that Ronald had caused, both from the physical assault and the empathic one. "Emma and I think we may have a way to help with that, but we need your permission to try. It involves Emma altering some of your memories slightly, just enough to help make the distinction between Brennan and Ronald."

"Can she make me forget?" Jesse asked, and he looked almost hopeful.

Adam felt a pang of sorrow seeing the look in the molecular's face. There was nothing he wanted more than to erase the horror the young man had endured, unfortunately he couldn't. "No Jess, we can't do that. As painful as it is you can't ignore that it happened."

Jesse buried his face in his arms and exhaled. His tension was clearly visible again and Adam was at a loss for what to do next. All the mentor seemed to be able to do was wait for Jesse to handle his own emotions. It took a minute or two, but Jesse finally regained his composure. He looked back up at Adam, his expression neutral.

"Adam… I can't close my eyes…" He said softly, and the 'father' could tell it took a lot for him to admit that. "It feels like it's still happening," he said, and he was starting to shake. He took a deep breath and looked away from Adam, unable to finish what he was going to say.

"Your mind is trying to make sense of everything. You've suffered two similar traumas, it's going to confuse them," Adam tried to explain, tried to comfort.

"I close my eyes and I'm in the box… I open them and I'm in a lab. I can't… my head is spinning and nothing makes sense anymore," Jesse said, his voice choked and words hushed, "I'm just scared."

Adam didn't know what to say to that, he didn't know how to make this right. What possible words could ease this fear? What treatment could make this better? Luckily, he didn't have to try to think of something because it was at this moment that Emma arrived.

"Hey Adam," she called softly alerting the others to her presence. He looked over to the empath, who he knew was exhausted and suffering from the strain that the last few days had brought, but still somehow managed to appear as a grounding cornerstone. She was still a rock. He gave her a soft smile as way of recognition, but was unsurprised when she didn't look at him, her focus on Jesse.

"Jess," she called softly, getting the young man's attention, "may I come in?"

Jesse nodded, and shifted, uncurling slightly and sitting up straighter. He watched Emma, his blue eyes still so lost and vacant, as she approached him, coming to stand just in front. She was close enough that if he reached out, he could touch her, but not so close that she was imposing. But then, Emma never was imposing to him.

"How 'bout we go outside?" she said softly.

-line-

The sun felt like heaven and he sat still for a long moment, letting it warm him. For the first time since the box, he could shut his eyes and still 'see' the light. It was a relief. He sighed, feeling himself relaxing as he settled into the bench on the observation deck.

"You're lucky it's dry. This is the first day it hasn't rained this week," Emma said, she was standing by the railing, a small smile on her face.

Jesse managed to return the smile, even if it was just a shadow of his normal one. "It feels good...the sun…" He said quietly opening his eyes to look at her.

"It's better out here? Less overwhelming?" She asked, her head tilted. Jesse knew she was reading him, trying to get a sense of where his mind was.

"It's less crowded…. More space…" He said, trying to explain the relief he felt. He didn't know if words could describe it, but he also knew Emma would understand.

"Good. It'll make it easier," she said nodding.

Jesse watched her, noting the stiffness and signs of stress. He frowned, worried about the toll that this nightmare had taken on her. All the emotions, all his broadcasting, all the fear and worry on top of her own…

"Don't do that to yourself Jesse. Don't feel guilty for any of this. I'm an empath and this is as normal to me as the pain your powers cause is to you. Alright."

Jesse sighed, and looked away, unable to answer. He stared out into the horizon, trying hard not to feel guilty… But he did. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't see how this wasn't his fault. He heard Emma sigh, sensed her move towards him, but he didn't turn his head. Not even when she sat down next to him.

"I want you to look at this," she instructed after a moment, drawing his attention to a photo she was holding, "his name is Ronald Myer." Jesse stared at the photo, expression blank. It was almost like a mug shot, just a small Polaroid of a glaring man in one of the it holding cells. Jess sighed, recognizing him as the bartender again.

"He said his name was Jo, said I could call him Jojo," he admitted, ducking his head. It was hard to admit, almost embarrassing really. Not only was he stating he had brought the bastard into their lives but he was alluding to a part of him he always kept private.

"Jess, you haven't done anything wrong. Please believe that," Emma said, putting the picture back into her pocket.

"Yeah...well...I was the one he found…." Jesse snapped, angry.

"Exactly, he found you. You didn't go looking for trouble, did you?" Came the reply, twisting his words.

Jesse sighed and he shook his head. "I just wanted to have a drink...alone and away from everyone. I just wasn't having a good day, and I met him. We hooked up… At least kind of. He wanted to go farther but I was in too much pain...my powers...he didn't push it. Asked for a date…" Jesse trailed off, unsure of what to say next. He knew that Emma was using her powers to encourage him to talk, and he didn't really care, but it was hard to tell a story when he didn't know what happened next.

"Did you go on that date?" She asked, prodding him.

He shrugged and shook his head, "kind of. I mean, I kept going back to the bar, but it was…" He trailed off here, unsure of exactly what to say. It took him a long moment to figure out the words but when he did, he spoke them with a hushed voice, "Brennan was more important than him. I… I wanted that… Was he really the shapeshifter."

"Yes. He was. But he was more than that Jess," and here was the part that Emma could show her friend just how much this was not his fault. "You and Brennan… You weren't the first people he has done this to. He was a serial killer, Jesse. He used his powers to abduct his victims and torture them."

Jesse was looking at her, his face paled and eyes wide with shock and horror. "How?" He managed to whisper, but just barely.

"From what Adam and I could figure out, shape shifting is one part molecular and one part empath. He can sense people's emotions and personalities...he even admitted that if he gets close to someone than he can share their memories."

"How many others?"

"I don't know, not yet. But Kim and I are going to find out," Emma promised. Kim was the 'warden' of the group home that Ronald was sent to, and another Empath.

"Did he bury them too?" Jesse asked, his voice small.

"Yes. And he used the disguise of a person they cared about to hurt them. What was different was what he did to Brennan. I'm not exactly sure why he tortured Brennan."

"He knows it wasn't me? Right? Brennan knows?" There was a sudden rush of panic from the younger man and Emma had to physically brace herself in order to prevent it from overpowering her.

"Yes Jesse, he does. He does know and he does understand. Just like you will, okay?" She soothed, squeezing his arm.

Jesse sagged, the relief visible. "I still want...but I can't tell them apart…" He said after a long moment.

"That's okay. You will once we're completely done. This isn't an instant fix, it will take a little time, but it will help." she assured, "are you ready?"

Jesse took a deep breath and let it out slowly, doing his best to ignore the pain in his ribs. He stared out at the horizon for a long moment, trying to memorize every detail, before he nodded once.

"Alright," Emma said and she placed a hand on his forehead, "close your eyes, and remember, no matter what you see you are with me. It can't hurt you."

Jesse took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting Emma into his mind.

-line-

Jesse sat by the koi pond, absentmindedly watching the water. He would have preferred to be outside on the observation deck where he had been spending most of his time, but it was raining and cold today. Adam had told him in no certain terms that he was to stay inside and not catch a cold. The only problem with that was the irrational fear of the mountain collapsing on top of him.

He couldn't help it though...the claustrophobia. It normally always lurked in the back of his mind, easily ignored with his day to day life. Lately though… Emma had helped. She'd been able to help him sort things out, make sense of what happened. More importantly, she had helped him to see the flaws in the shapeshifter's disguise… His mind knew that it hadn't been Brennan. That was at least one nightmare that could be pushed aside.

"Jesse?" A voice called from somewhere behind him. He startled slightly and turned to see Brennan standing there, a little stiffly. He too was still suffering the effects of the hell he suffered. Instinctively, Jesse's eyes went to Brennan's comm. ring, checking to make sure it was there. Brennan had anticipated this and showed him his hand, giving him a small smile. After all, he was doing the same thing.

Jesse returned the smile as he relaxed. "Should you be up?" He asked, studying the other closely. Adam had just removed his stitches and that had been a painful process. He'd been ordered to take it easy for the next few days but Brennan didn't know the meaning of the word.

He shrugged and gingerly took a seat across from Jess. "I think i've reread every book in my collection. If I read one more word I'm gonna turn into a bookshelf," he sighed as he studied the koi pond.

Jesse laughed softly and shook his head, tilting his gaze back up to the Windows. "I should be working…" He said absentmindedly his eyes unfocusing, "but the walls are too close."

"The walls?" Brennan repeated looking over to him.

Jesse startled, he hadn't realized he'd said that out loud. He blushed and looked down at his hands, they were still bandaged from his time in the box. "I uh… I'm still a little claustrophobic I guess," He replied and it hurt that he sounded ashamed of that.

"Can't imagine why…" Brennan said dryly, tensed from Jesse's admission. "Are you still having nightmares?"

Jesse shifted uncomfortably and he wouldn't look at the other man. "Not as vivid," he answered and he sighed. He was starting to curl back in on himself.

Brennan suddenly felt the sharp stab of guilt that so often came with his recent interactions with Jesse. He wanted so badly to hold the younger man, to kiss him until the world was better, but he couldn't. He could barely bring himself to look at him. His own nightmares were still dogging his mind and though he knew the truth, he still woke up in cold sweats with the vivid image of Jesse looming over him.

"I'm...I'm sorry…" Jesse whispered, his voice very small, "I… It's my fault… I let him in…"

Brennan swallowed back the angry outcry he wanted to shout. He didn't blame Jesse, not even when they thought it was him, he never blamed him. Least of all for what that bastard had done. "You met him at a bar. It's not exactly like he advertised he was a psychopath."

"I'm supposed to know better," Jesse replied eyes staring intently at the pond, "it's my fault what he did…"

"He hurt you too," Brennan said, his voice harsh. The thought of Jesse buried in that wooden box was still so overwhelming that the only emotion anyone could process from it was rage. "He almost killed you…"

Jesse shrugged, and sighed again, slumping. He didn't say it, but Brennan could still hear the words, the thoughts, _I deserved it._ And that, that was just a horrible lie. "Jess what can I do to convince you that this isn't your fault?" He asked softly.

Jesse was quiet for a long time and so still that the older man feared he had gone catatonic again. He was just about to say something when Jesse finally spoke. "Can you...can you forgive me?" He stammered and he clearly was nervous. He still couldn't bring himself to look the other in the eye.

"For what? You didn't do anything," Brennan said, sounding almost angry. He felt another pang of guilt when he saw Jesse flinch. He forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out slowly before saying, "you have nothing to be forgiven for. I know it wasn't you."

"But you can't look at me…" Jesse whispered.

"You won't look at me," Brennan responded and he sounded sullen even to his own ears.

"I don't flinch anymore… When you come in… I'm not afraid of you," Jesse said after a long silence.

Brennan snorted, a kind of laugh. He could still remember the panic in the blond's face when he first arrived back at Sanctuary…. The sheer terror when he saw him…. "That a good start," and he meant that. It was.

Jesse smiled, kind of, at least a little. "What do we do? Where do we go?" He asked.

Brennan shrugged. "I don't know. But I'm willing to try… I'm willing to find out."

It took a moment, but Jesse nodded. "Me too," he said and for the first time it what felt like a lifetime, their eyes met.

End.


End file.
